I did these ones:
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
No, seriously man, color war
*in a sing-song voice*
Two teams,
Peace and love,
I was on the team,
that didn't have fun,
Team Shalom, as it was called,
had about the same amount of achdus,
as a soggy old pond,
We fought and bickered,
and didn't get along,
while the other team, ahava,
worked well all night long,
I wasn't there,
at the sleepover that night,
but I was told by my friends,
it gave them quite a fright,
points were taken away,
for things that were lost,
and post-it-notes not turned in,
definatly cost us,
Instead of the achdus,
our teachers invisioned,
people spoke lashon hora,
about other's decisions,
while many tried hard,
to practice our songs,
others went off and grumbled,
our team didn't get along,
finally the war was over,
results came in,
when Shalom lost,
even more complaints were brought in,
the judges favored ahava,
they did say,
but really they were all just sour,
for they didn't get their way,
I went home,
with a happy heart,
I didn't know who won,
for my hearing had stopped,
It was a tragic day,
when my eardrums blew,
I was trying to eat lunch,
while my teamates screamed all the way through,
all in all,
I'm glad it's over,
because right now,
my head is killing me.
PS: my ears are fine, I know you were worried.
Two teams,
Peace and love,
I was on the team,
that didn't have fun,
Team Shalom, as it was called,
had about the same amount of achdus,
as a soggy old pond,
We fought and bickered,
and didn't get along,
while the other team, ahava,
worked well all night long,
I wasn't there,
at the sleepover that night,
but I was told by my friends,
it gave them quite a fright,
points were taken away,
for things that were lost,
and post-it-notes not turned in,
definatly cost us,
Instead of the achdus,
our teachers invisioned,
people spoke lashon hora,
about other's decisions,
while many tried hard,
to practice our songs,
others went off and grumbled,
our team didn't get along,
finally the war was over,
results came in,
when Shalom lost,
even more complaints were brought in,
the judges favored ahava,
they did say,
but really they were all just sour,
for they didn't get their way,
I went home,
with a happy heart,
I didn't know who won,
for my hearing had stopped,
It was a tragic day,
when my eardrums blew,
I was trying to eat lunch,
while my teamates screamed all the way through,
all in all,
I'm glad it's over,
because right now,
my head is killing me.
PS: my ears are fine, I know you were worried.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Fellow Citizens
people, citizens, whatever you want to be called. Something very important has come to my attention. Let's start from them beginning, shall we?
EXHIBIT A: SUNDAY
sunday was actually pretty good. Outofammo was sick, and throwing up. And so he stayed home with the PT and me, which I thought was pretty awesome, mainly becuz he felt better in a few seconds and drew pictures of superman with us. Everything in sunday went exactly right, down to the last fun-coated-minute, and I went to bed feeling fine.
EXHIBIT B: MONDAY
Okay, I woke up (again) feeling fine. I ate some breakfast. I got dressed in my school uniform. I sang while I washed the dishes. And thats when it hit me. I'm telling you, it's like somebody was pounding my stomach. It was hard to breathe a little even. So I told my mom I wasn't feeling so well, and she gave me enough ibuprofen to kill a horse. I took these pills in a little bag and a small cup of pudding and went to school. At approximatly 8:45 AM, I staggered to the bathroom to take the pills. I opening the pudding and stuck some pills in the first bite and jammed it into my mouth and swallowed hard. I remember thinking at that point 'hey. That wasn't so hard.'
It was then I threw up all over teh counter.
After a while, somebody got a teacher and I went down to the office and fell asleep in the waiting chair. (there are many legends about the waiting chair that I may or may not divulge later) I felt horrible for the rest of the day.
EXHIBIT C: WHERE I PIECE THE EVIDENCE TOGETHER
Now, you are all probably wondering why I just told you all that. Well, while I was sick, a friend of mine called who lives far away. I told her I was sick, and she told me her whole FAMILY was sick of strep throat. This is what aroused my suscipicion. Once I began to feel better (which was later that week) I sent out emails to my other friends living elsewhere in the world, and also talked to my mother. As I expected, all reported that there were many sick people in their community who were suffering from sore throat, stomach flu, dirriah, and all kinds of other ailments. I flicked on the news where they were openly announcing who won the "least healthy city in America" (somewhere in North Dakota, I think. The city I mean, not America.) But still news of even more sick people everywhere reached me. Even in books I was reading, people were constantly suffering from illness.
My fellow Americans, this is more than mere coincidence.
Something is happening to our planet. This may be hard to believe, but something is wrong in the world. Perhaps this is the reason for our faltering economy. But whatever it is, I believe it is a prelude to something big. Something is coming! Aliens? The apocolpsye? Moshiach? Whatever it is, it is causing many, MANY people to suddenly become sick. My humble Americans, this calls for drastic action. Do you want to be the last one on the block to know when the jig is up? Come on! We must prepare for war! Grab your torch and pitchfork, let's beat this thing head on! This could be a divine signal!
Or it could be those five tubes of yogurt I just ate.
EXHIBIT A: SUNDAY
sunday was actually pretty good. Outofammo was sick, and throwing up. And so he stayed home with the PT and me, which I thought was pretty awesome, mainly becuz he felt better in a few seconds and drew pictures of superman with us. Everything in sunday went exactly right, down to the last fun-coated-minute, and I went to bed feeling fine.
EXHIBIT B: MONDAY
Okay, I woke up (again) feeling fine. I ate some breakfast. I got dressed in my school uniform. I sang while I washed the dishes. And thats when it hit me. I'm telling you, it's like somebody was pounding my stomach. It was hard to breathe a little even. So I told my mom I wasn't feeling so well, and she gave me enough ibuprofen to kill a horse. I took these pills in a little bag and a small cup of pudding and went to school. At approximatly 8:45 AM, I staggered to the bathroom to take the pills. I opening the pudding and stuck some pills in the first bite and jammed it into my mouth and swallowed hard. I remember thinking at that point 'hey. That wasn't so hard.'
It was then I threw up all over teh counter.
After a while, somebody got a teacher and I went down to the office and fell asleep in the waiting chair. (there are many legends about the waiting chair that I may or may not divulge later) I felt horrible for the rest of the day.
EXHIBIT C: WHERE I PIECE THE EVIDENCE TOGETHER
Now, you are all probably wondering why I just told you all that. Well, while I was sick, a friend of mine called who lives far away. I told her I was sick, and she told me her whole FAMILY was sick of strep throat. This is what aroused my suscipicion. Once I began to feel better (which was later that week) I sent out emails to my other friends living elsewhere in the world, and also talked to my mother. As I expected, all reported that there were many sick people in their community who were suffering from sore throat, stomach flu, dirriah, and all kinds of other ailments. I flicked on the news where they were openly announcing who won the "least healthy city in America" (somewhere in North Dakota, I think. The city I mean, not America.) But still news of even more sick people everywhere reached me. Even in books I was reading, people were constantly suffering from illness.
My fellow Americans, this is more than mere coincidence.
Something is happening to our planet. This may be hard to believe, but something is wrong in the world. Perhaps this is the reason for our faltering economy. But whatever it is, I believe it is a prelude to something big. Something is coming! Aliens? The apocolpsye? Moshiach? Whatever it is, it is causing many, MANY people to suddenly become sick. My humble Americans, this calls for drastic action. Do you want to be the last one on the block to know when the jig is up? Come on! We must prepare for war! Grab your torch and pitchfork, let's beat this thing head on! This could be a divine signal!
Or it could be those five tubes of yogurt I just ate.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The time of my life
Okay, the TAM retreat happened this thursday. It was AWESOME! it also took two days, so I'm gonna do this as briefly as possible:
DAY 1)
A lot of stuuf happened on day 1. Trust me. First of all, before we even got on the bus to get on the resort, my carpool was fifteen minutes late. So I just sat in our living room, thinking it will probably never come and I'll have to spend the whole day at home.
So once, we finally got to TAM, we were just sat around waiting for EVERYONE ELSE to get to tam. So while we were waiting, I thought I'd check out their piano. I play a KILLER piece on piano, let me tell you. Ask Pyschotodler. He can hook you up with one of my master pieces. Unless you live with me. Then get lost. Anyway, I started playing on their piano a really nice song, it was very long though. I didn't even notice the hordes of high-schoolers collecting around me. In fact, I didn't notice until the end, where they all started applauding. It was then I fell off the chair backwards, no joke.
So after the piano incident, we got on the bus. I clocked the ride, it was 3 hours. IT WAS THAT LONG! I think I died a few times, because I rarely remember anything about the ride there except it was extremly boring. So yeah. Escpecially because my entire class was on the other bus, and I somehow got stuck with all the tam girls. So yeah.
Once we finally arrived at "the lodge" we were all assinged our rooms. Luckily for me, I got put in a room with my friends! I even did a little dance. So then we got a few minutes to unpack and get settled. Then we all went downstairs for some speeches that I found quite boring. Then we playd a game where you had to get someone else to answer questions about themselves, but I found that boring also. After that, we went outside to play a game called "Russian Passport." You had to go around to each of the boothes (countries) and do an activity. For each activity, you get a stamp. You win when your card is filled with stamps, but if you run into a "border watch" they take all your stamps away.
After this exciting game, we went to the gym to do literally nothing. I mean, really. We just sat around. So my friends and I took pictures of stuff and a movie of someone putting chopsticks in their hair. Then my friend took a picture of me strangling someone. Yeah....
Then, we ate lunch. Boy, I have never EVER had a lunch so good. I mean, there was Chicago pizza, garlic bread, a salad bar, strawberries with cream, and even dessert! Chocolate ice cream with gram crackers! I mean, this was AMAZING!!!
Then we went to a "workshop". Workshop, is another way of saying "Boring lecture that goes on for an hour." I'm not sure why they did this on a retreat, but we had three of them. Man oh man, those things were so boring, a piece of LETTUCE might have been more interesting. At least to me.
Now, it was getting dark outside, around 4:00. And it was raining cats and dogs. So you had two options. You could
a) go on a hay ride
b) have free time
Obviously, I chose free time. I which I went down to the basement and played elimination with my friends. Then I went upstiars and drew an AWESOME picture. I'm telling you, this is the best picture of my career. So we had free time for two hours until supper. Supper was, basically, a hot bowl of soup, a piece of kugel, and a heaping plate ful of brisket. Pretty cool. So it was around 8:00 now. We had an activity which was: We were each assigned into little groups, which were then assigned countries. We had to present a banner, skit and food. I was stuck with France, and making the banner. France. Seriously. So I went out in the pouring rain to the gym, where I had very few sharpes to work with. I starting sketching out the Eifel tower and some french flags. Luckily, someone in our group could speak french, and I think that won us th banner award. Or it was some funny thingsI said when presenting it. It could be either. But we won the banner awards.
After this, we sat around the campfire and sang nice songs. And while we were singing nice songs, we cooked smores on the fire. For all you strange people out there who are behind the times, a smore is a gramcracker with meltled chocholate ad marshmallows inside. So anyway, while all this Achdus was happening, someone pulled the prank of the century. I don't know who it was, but SOMEBODY threw a giant rubber tranchula out onto the field, and EVERYBODY screamed their heads off. It was hilarous!!! The tranchula was later found to belong to the management. Funny how that worked out. So I played a soft song on the piano while everyone ate their smores, and then we went to bed. We didn't go to bed I mean, we went back to th lodge. We were SUPPOSED to go to bed, but that's never stopped anyne before. So I went downstairs and played with my friends again. Until the penguin parade showed up. Some girls dressed up as penguins for some reason, and ran around the lodge. So I joined the penguin parade. We paraded around for a good solid hour. I went to go eat some cake and soda after the parade. Then I went to my room to talked even more with my friends to a good 2:00 AM in the morning. At that time, I went into the lobby of the lodge where a strange-dancing-musical kinda movie was playing. To make a long story short, I went to bed at 2:45 AM.
DAY 2)
To make another long story short, we went home.
Breakfast was awesome, pancakes with chocolate melted inside, toast, and strawberries. The bus was three hours late, and I drew another awesome picture.
Well, thatsa my story. Now I have to go, this keyboard is REALLY annoying me.
DAY 1)
A lot of stuuf happened on day 1. Trust me. First of all, before we even got on the bus to get on the resort, my carpool was fifteen minutes late. So I just sat in our living room, thinking it will probably never come and I'll have to spend the whole day at home.
So once, we finally got to TAM, we were just sat around waiting for EVERYONE ELSE to get to tam. So while we were waiting, I thought I'd check out their piano. I play a KILLER piece on piano, let me tell you. Ask Pyschotodler. He can hook you up with one of my master pieces. Unless you live with me. Then get lost. Anyway, I started playing on their piano a really nice song, it was very long though. I didn't even notice the hordes of high-schoolers collecting around me. In fact, I didn't notice until the end, where they all started applauding. It was then I fell off the chair backwards, no joke.
So after the piano incident, we got on the bus. I clocked the ride, it was 3 hours. IT WAS THAT LONG! I think I died a few times, because I rarely remember anything about the ride there except it was extremly boring. So yeah. Escpecially because my entire class was on the other bus, and I somehow got stuck with all the tam girls. So yeah.
Once we finally arrived at "the lodge" we were all assinged our rooms. Luckily for me, I got put in a room with my friends! I even did a little dance. So then we got a few minutes to unpack and get settled. Then we all went downstairs for some speeches that I found quite boring. Then we playd a game where you had to get someone else to answer questions about themselves, but I found that boring also. After that, we went outside to play a game called "Russian Passport." You had to go around to each of the boothes (countries) and do an activity. For each activity, you get a stamp. You win when your card is filled with stamps, but if you run into a "border watch" they take all your stamps away.
After this exciting game, we went to the gym to do literally nothing. I mean, really. We just sat around. So my friends and I took pictures of stuff and a movie of someone putting chopsticks in their hair. Then my friend took a picture of me strangling someone. Yeah....
Then, we ate lunch. Boy, I have never EVER had a lunch so good. I mean, there was Chicago pizza, garlic bread, a salad bar, strawberries with cream, and even dessert! Chocolate ice cream with gram crackers! I mean, this was AMAZING!!!
Then we went to a "workshop". Workshop, is another way of saying "Boring lecture that goes on for an hour." I'm not sure why they did this on a retreat, but we had three of them. Man oh man, those things were so boring, a piece of LETTUCE might have been more interesting. At least to me.
Now, it was getting dark outside, around 4:00. And it was raining cats and dogs. So you had two options. You could
a) go on a hay ride
b) have free time
Obviously, I chose free time. I which I went down to the basement and played elimination with my friends. Then I went upstiars and drew an AWESOME picture. I'm telling you, this is the best picture of my career. So we had free time for two hours until supper. Supper was, basically, a hot bowl of soup, a piece of kugel, and a heaping plate ful of brisket. Pretty cool. So it was around 8:00 now. We had an activity which was: We were each assigned into little groups, which were then assigned countries. We had to present a banner, skit and food. I was stuck with France, and making the banner. France. Seriously. So I went out in the pouring rain to the gym, where I had very few sharpes to work with. I starting sketching out the Eifel tower and some french flags. Luckily, someone in our group could speak french, and I think that won us th banner award. Or it was some funny thingsI said when presenting it. It could be either. But we won the banner awards.
After this, we sat around the campfire and sang nice songs. And while we were singing nice songs, we cooked smores on the fire. For all you strange people out there who are behind the times, a smore is a gramcracker with meltled chocholate ad marshmallows inside. So anyway, while all this Achdus was happening, someone pulled the prank of the century. I don't know who it was, but SOMEBODY threw a giant rubber tranchula out onto the field, and EVERYBODY screamed their heads off. It was hilarous!!! The tranchula was later found to belong to the management. Funny how that worked out. So I played a soft song on the piano while everyone ate their smores, and then we went to bed. We didn't go to bed I mean, we went back to th lodge. We were SUPPOSED to go to bed, but that's never stopped anyne before. So I went downstairs and played with my friends again. Until the penguin parade showed up. Some girls dressed up as penguins for some reason, and ran around the lodge. So I joined the penguin parade. We paraded around for a good solid hour. I went to go eat some cake and soda after the parade. Then I went to my room to talked even more with my friends to a good 2:00 AM in the morning. At that time, I went into the lobby of the lodge where a strange-dancing-musical kinda movie was playing. To make a long story short, I went to bed at 2:45 AM.
DAY 2)
To make another long story short, we went home.
Breakfast was awesome, pancakes with chocolate melted inside, toast, and strawberries. The bus was three hours late, and I drew another awesome picture.
Well, thatsa my story. Now I have to go, this keyboard is REALLY annoying me.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Oh. Steven.
Okay, so you can barely see it. That's not my fault. But we should concentrate on the fact that I think this is the best picture of my career, and if it was dark enough, I think I'd use it for my avatar. And I drew it ALL BY MYSELF!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!! Unfourtunatly, the colors didn't come out so great....neither did the pictures.....
you know what? They need to invent better scanners these days!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
CUT!
Hey people? Guess what I have to do?
Yup, you guessed it, I have to write a play! About Korach! Yeah...So here's goes a scene!
(we see Korach (played by short girl with long black hair and cotton ball beard) in dusty tent sitting on a bench. Many bichorim (played by maniacle 1st graders) are gathered at his feet, listening to his speech.)
KORACH: (getting comfortable on bench) So, my young fellows. What's up?
BACHOR #1: the sky?
BACHOR #2: the annania hacovode?
BACHOR #3: gas prices?
KORACH: (sighing) no, no, no. I'd just like to ask you all. Do you like your current jobs?
BACHOR #1: Oh yes, it's very nice.
BACHOR #2: (nodding) yeah, can't complain.
BACHOR #3: mine gives out free sodas!
KORACH: Now think about it. Are these very honorable jobs?
BACHOR #1: nah...
BACHOR #2: not really...
BACHOR #3: (pondering) is being a popcorn vender honorable?
BACHOR #1: no, it kinda makes people want to strangle you.
BACHOR #2: yeah, ecspecially when you scream at the top of your voice 'POPCORN!!!!'
BACHOR #3: Oh...
KORACH: do you think it's unfair that other people get better jobs than you?
BACHOR #1: yeah...
BACHOR #2: uh-huh...
BACHOR #3: I'm hungry!
KORACH: What if I gave you a better job?
BACHOR #1: huh?
BACHOR #2: What kind of job?
BACHOR #3: is it better than being a popcorn vender?
KORACH: Well, say, a job in the mishkan?
BACHOR #1: That would be pretty cool..
BACHOR #2: but I thought Moshe took away our right to work in the mishkan...
BACHOR #3: I wonder if they would let me sell popcorn INSIDE the mishkan...
KORACH: Exactly. Moshe took away your right to work in the mishkan and gave it to the leviyim. Do you know why?
BACHOR #1: no, why?
BACHOR #2: why?
BACHOR #3: didn't it have something to do with the golden whats-it thing?
KORACH: (ignoring bachor #3) because HE's a levi, and his BROTHER is a levi. Moshe wanted all the glory, and he wanted glory for his brother also, so he took away your kahoona.
BACHOR #1 & 2: gasp!
BACHOR #3: but I thought he was our leader!
KORACH: If I were leader, I would make sure the bachorim would get all the honor, and you wouldn't be stuck with lowly jobs like a popcorn vender!
BACHOR #1: yeah!
BACHOR #2: let's go! Down with Moshe!
KORACH: yes...join me, and together we will rule the galaxy!!!!
BACHORIM: (confused)
KORACH: sorry, just my alter ego, there....
BACHOR #1: anyway, he's right! Moshe cheated us!
BACHOR #2: Yeah! Vote Korach!
BACHOR #3: Down with the emperor!!
BACHORIM & KORACH: (staring blankly at #3)
KORACH: there's work to be done! Come my fellow citizens!
(we see KORACH and BACHORIM 1 &2 march off out of the tent. 3 is left standing there)
BACHOR #3: um...
(awkard silence)
BACHOR #3: yeah.......I'm still cool....
(end scene)
by the way, i'm pretty sure bachor #3 was the voice of reason. I have the sudden urge to gnaw my fingers.
Yup, you guessed it, I have to write a play! About Korach! Yeah...So here's goes a scene!
(we see Korach (played by short girl with long black hair and cotton ball beard) in dusty tent sitting on a bench. Many bichorim (played by maniacle 1st graders) are gathered at his feet, listening to his speech.)
KORACH: (getting comfortable on bench) So, my young fellows. What's up?
BACHOR #1: the sky?
BACHOR #2: the annania hacovode?
BACHOR #3: gas prices?
KORACH: (sighing) no, no, no. I'd just like to ask you all. Do you like your current jobs?
BACHOR #1: Oh yes, it's very nice.
BACHOR #2: (nodding) yeah, can't complain.
BACHOR #3: mine gives out free sodas!
KORACH: Now think about it. Are these very honorable jobs?
BACHOR #1: nah...
BACHOR #2: not really...
BACHOR #3: (pondering) is being a popcorn vender honorable?
BACHOR #1: no, it kinda makes people want to strangle you.
BACHOR #2: yeah, ecspecially when you scream at the top of your voice 'POPCORN!!!!'
BACHOR #3: Oh...
KORACH: do you think it's unfair that other people get better jobs than you?
BACHOR #1: yeah...
BACHOR #2: uh-huh...
BACHOR #3: I'm hungry!
KORACH: What if I gave you a better job?
BACHOR #1: huh?
BACHOR #2: What kind of job?
BACHOR #3: is it better than being a popcorn vender?
KORACH: Well, say, a job in the mishkan?
BACHOR #1: That would be pretty cool..
BACHOR #2: but I thought Moshe took away our right to work in the mishkan...
BACHOR #3: I wonder if they would let me sell popcorn INSIDE the mishkan...
KORACH: Exactly. Moshe took away your right to work in the mishkan and gave it to the leviyim. Do you know why?
BACHOR #1: no, why?
BACHOR #2: why?
BACHOR #3: didn't it have something to do with the golden whats-it thing?
KORACH: (ignoring bachor #3) because HE's a levi, and his BROTHER is a levi. Moshe wanted all the glory, and he wanted glory for his brother also, so he took away your kahoona.
BACHOR #1 & 2: gasp!
BACHOR #3: but I thought he was our leader!
KORACH: If I were leader, I would make sure the bachorim would get all the honor, and you wouldn't be stuck with lowly jobs like a popcorn vender!
BACHOR #1: yeah!
BACHOR #2: let's go! Down with Moshe!
KORACH: yes...join me, and together we will rule the galaxy!!!!
BACHORIM: (confused)
KORACH: sorry, just my alter ego, there....
BACHOR #1: anyway, he's right! Moshe cheated us!
BACHOR #2: Yeah! Vote Korach!
BACHOR #3: Down with the emperor!!
BACHORIM & KORACH: (staring blankly at #3)
KORACH: there's work to be done! Come my fellow citizens!
(we see KORACH and BACHORIM 1 &2 march off out of the tent. 3 is left standing there)
BACHOR #3: um...
(awkard silence)
BACHOR #3: yeah.......I'm still cool....
(end scene)
by the way, i'm pretty sure bachor #3 was the voice of reason. I have the sudden urge to gnaw my fingers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
