My friend's family has two sets of twins. My friend is the firstborn, then there's one set of twins, each one around 7, and another set of twins, each one around 3. Sometimes the twins have little fights, like the 3 year old twins vs. the 7 year old twins. Because there are two sets of twins running around, they are able to cause trouble around every part of the house. All the twins like to do is cause trouble anyway. That friend invited me to her house for Shabbos. Once we got inside we heard screaming, laughing, crying, and arguing. Each girl or boy got along with its twin just fine, but it didn't get along so well with the other set of twins. This part will get a bit tricky, so I'm going to give my friends some name tags. Friend 1 was the one who invited me to her house. Later she invited friend 2 who lived across the street. When friend 2 arrived, friend 1 asked me to leave them alone for a bit. I said okay and went to the living room. There I found one 3 year old jumping on the couch, and another 3 year old making a mess by scattering toys everywhere. I tried my best to round up the twins, but when they saw me coming, they ran to the hall closet, picked up some boots, and began throwing them at me. I took a pillow from the couch and used it as a shield. I advanced, using my "shield", and took away the shoes. Now the twins were getting smarter. One went behind me, and another one in front. I didn't want to hurt them, so in order to escape, I hid inside the hall closet. One twin saw me going in and called to the other. Soon I heard them yelling and banging on the door with boots. I decided to come out before they broke something. Once I opened the door, I ran for the couch and climbed on top. This stopped the twins, but not for long. They knew they weren't allowed on top of the couch, but decided to do it anyway in order to kill me. I jumped down and ran for the bedrooms. I went into my friend 1's room and hid in the closet. The closet door was strong, but in the distance I heard in a little voice:
" where is she? Me and my twin will look in the bedrooms, you and your twin look in the other rooms."
uh-oh I said to myself. The twins were getting smarter by the second. A 3 year old girl knocked open the bedroom door I had bolted with a couple laundry baskets. She opened the closet door and shrieked. I shrieked too, because then I saw another 3 year old and two 7 year olds (each armed with a shoe) walking into the room. I got hit a couple times by boots but made it to the living room. By the time they had arranged a formation and got to the living room, I had set a trap. The little ones attempted to charge me while the 7 year old shot plastic spears from a fake gun set at me. The 3 year old tripped on the pillows I piled up, and while they were down, I took a jump rope and tied them down with it (all this time I was getting small cuts from the edges of the spears). Soon they got out out my trap, but I was able to calm them down with some small talk. I asked them about their preschool and what they do there. It was freaky because every time I asked a yes or no question, they would nod or shake at exactly the same time. In the end, I made friends with them and got my own personal escort. Everywhere I went they followed me. When I went back to friend 1 and she disagreed about something, a twin actually threatened her. When it was time for me to leave, the twins gave me a hug, and I went home feeling happy. Although next time I go to their house, I'll probably have to do this all over again.
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5 comments:
Now THIS is funny.
thank you for pointing that out, Mr. Obivous
they have failed me for the last time.
what? YOU hired those mercinaries?
or as they say around town, the SHADY MISSONARIES
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