A week full of happiness

The title describes my winter break. Mostly. Okay not the orthodontist. Brr....That one still gives me the creeps. Unfortunately the PT has done nothing funny except write a book called "Be grand". Shall I rehearse it? P.S, it will be in the PT's spelling:

cover
B GRAND
BY PT
ILUUSSTRATTED(illustrated) BY PT
STAPLED BY MOM

page 1
WUT A NIYSE SKY

page 2
MY NAME IS B

page 3
HO NO! THE SKY IS BING BLOWN UP!

page 4 (picture of a man holding a bug)
HAHA! YU R MY BUG NAW

page 5 (man drops bug)
NO!

page 6 (man crying)
WA! MY HAWS HAS BEN SKWISHINATED (sqwishinated) BY THE GRL!

And from that point on, everything else is illegible. Now we have the PT's book "no no no no".


page 1 (a boy and a rabbi are sitting in shul. The boy begins to cry)
MEISHY, (moshe) ARE YU SCARED OF SOMETHING?

page 2 (boys thought bubble shows thief stealing cheese)
NO, NUTHING AT ALL

page 3 (rabbi looks around)
NAW WERE IS MY SIDDUR?

page 4 (moshe sees thief stealing siddur)
NO!

page 5 (thief leaves shul shouting:
HO

page 6 (thief tries to throw siddur in fire)
NO!

page 7 (moshe catches it)
HA I CAGHT IT read as "hmm, I seem to have caught it"

page 8 (thief tries to grab siddur away)
I GOT IT FRST!

page 9 (siddur rips)
HO NO!

page 10 (girl cries)
JESSICA STORTED TO CRY who's Jessica?

page 11 (Jessica jumps up and down)
I NO! (know)

page 12 (Jessica talks to thief)
HAW DO YOU RASE YOUR HAND IN SKOOL?

page 13 (as thief raises his hands, Jessica cuts them off)
HA GOT YOU

page 14 (shows a picture of a newspaper. It reads
LITL FEETH DEFEETED

page 15 (shows Jessica handing something to rabbi)
THE BOOK IS RIPED rabbi answers SO IT IS, EH?

page 16 (shows rabbi patting Jessica and moshe on the head)
JESSICA AND MOSHE, YOU WER A GRAT HELP, AND A BIG MITSVA TOO!

the end.

So that's where they came from

Breaking news everybloody! I've finally got straight from the PT where her imagination comes from. I know what you're all thinking: "WUAT?" Well, last Shabbos we were sitting in the basement looking at a globe, and I asked "PT, where does your imagination come from?" and she looked me in the eye and said:

PT: it's a secret, BUT I can tell you where Yoninica is!

Me (getting excited): where?

PT: (points to random spec of land in the center of the south Atlantic ocean) THERE!

me: uh....where?

PT: see? That's how secret it is!

me: but if Yoninica is an unspeakably small island in the middle of an ocean, how did all those badguys get to it?

PT: they swam! DUH!

me: from where?

PT: Africa! Duh!

me: uh...Where in Africa?

PT: downtown

me: where's downtown Africa?

PT: iguana, isn't it obvious? I mean, everyone knows where downtown Africa is!

me: well, I don't

PT: it's somewhere over here (points to Kenya)

me: no, PT that's Kenya

PT: no no no...I'm not pointing to that! I'm pointing to the 'A' in Africa!

me: (trying to comprehend)

A F R I C A

*down town*

So, if anyone plans on making a trip to Africa, don't forget to visit downtown! and watch out for PT's imaginary enemies.

PT the movie critic

The PT and I were watching a movie called "The Iron Giant" lately. At the end of the movie, the main character is found on a glacier in Greenland. The PT watches this scene and says:

PT: Hey, I know where he is! He's on PLUTO!

iguana: No, actually he's in Greenland, PT.

PT: Huh? Greenland? What planet is that?

Look me in the face and tell me that isn't funny.